The “R” in R. Paul Wilson stands for his first name, Ru.
Have a nice turkey day, Americans. For everyone else, have a nice November 22nd.
OLDSTER: What are you into?
YOUNGSTER: Moves. I love moves. DPS. Shin Lim. Reverse Antifaro. (twitches) Moves.
OLDSTER: So you like the hard stuff I see?
YOUNGSTER: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah old man. Hardcore to the max.
OLDSTER: Ya ever read this?
(Oldster pulls out copy of Expert Card Technique)
YOUNGSTER: Sorry, I don’t wipe my ass with Geritol.
(Youngster spits to the ground indignantly)
YOUNGSTER: Shut up.
OLDSTER: Well, here, watch this.
(Oldster proceeds to take small packet of cards in right hand Biddle grip. He then lifts them to a vertical position. Pause)
YOUNGSTER: Yeah, so? What the fuck, fucking old-ass-Christopher Lloyd graybeard homo.
OLDSTER: It’s a one handed bottom palm into the right hand.
YOUNGSTER: Liar. (pause) Prove it.
(Oldster turns his right hand around. There are three cards nestled in his palm. Youngster’s face grows dark and pensive)
OLDSTER: Zingone bottom palm.
YOUNGSTER: Fucking shit.
(Oldster jumps into a Rolls-Royce with his millionaire go-go dancer girlfriend who also happens to be Miss America. The car wheelies and fire shoots out of its tailpipe as it roars into the sunset)
“Magicians are agents of Satan, using black art to perform acts of pure evil, such as making a quarter materialize behind someone’s ear or guessing which card an audience member has selected from a deck. Some purport that such magic is not rooted in the supernatural and has a logical explanation. It’s all smoke and mirrors, they say. Pardon my language, but that’s poppycock. I smoke a pipe, and I have mirrors in my home. Why don’t rabbits materialize in my hats? How come a dove doesn’t fly out of the skillet every time my wife removes the lid? It’s obviously not smoke and mirrors. The ONLY explanation is that magicians are getting their powers from the Devil.”