Category: Not Magic

This Actually Happened Probably

OLDSTER: What are you into?

YOUNGSTER: Moves. I love moves. DPS. Shin Lim. Reverse Antifaro. (twitches) Moves.

OLDSTER: So you like the hard stuff I see?

YOUNGSTER: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah old man. Hardcore to the max.

OLDSTER: Ya ever read this?

(Oldster pulls out copy of Expert Card Technique)

YOUNGSTER: Sorry, I don’t wipe my ass with Geritol.

(Youngster spits to the ground indignantly)

OLDSTER: Geritol?



OLDSTER: Well, here, watch this.

(Oldster proceeds to take small packet of cards in right hand Biddle grip. He then lifts them to a vertical position. Pause)

YOUNGSTER: Yeah, so? What the fuck, fucking old-ass-Christopher Lloyd graybeard homo.

OLDSTER: It’s a one handed bottom palm into the right hand.


YOUNGSTER: Liar. (pause) Prove it.

(Oldster turns his right hand around. There are three cards nestled in his palm. Youngster’s face grows dark and pensive)

OLDSTER: Zingone bottom palm.

YOUNGSTER: Fucking shit.


(Oldster jumps into a Rolls-Royce with his millionaire go-go dancer girlfriend who also happens to be Miss America. The car wheelies and fire shoots out of its tailpipe as it roars into the sunset)


Have a Nice Day, Everyone